Jimminy-crickets! home cookin, creek baths, chunkheads, nanner pudin', swimmin' holes, chickarees and chuck wagons in the great smokies y'all!

April 21

Tim, Steve "Spike Daddy" Pike, and the open road, headin for the hills o' Tennessee y'all, to meet up with three great folks Dan and Sarah Wiley and Tom Penney YEE-HAW Here we Go!

This is a great first sign:


Stop in at the quicky mart for an e-smoke and latest issue of "just busted".



April 22

Roll out in the mornin, dogwoods a-bloomin'. Good breakfast with big ol' cornbread patty covered in prickly pear cactus syrup and momma's churn butter.

Found a swimmin' hole. I did a flip and met some lovely old folks from down in Chatanooga, the man greeted me with a toothless smile while he spoke the language o-the-hills.

Now, here is a of essential supplies for camping with Steve:

Camp Shower
Road Bike
Mountain Bike
Spare tires and wheels with carbon fiber deep-dish rims
Camera with macro and regular lens
Extra filters for lenses
Binoculars
Foldable, disassembling bug net
Fishing rod and net
Fishing vest with tackle
Electric bike pump
Bike tools
Biking jerseys (x5)
Flashlight
Headlamp
High-powered spotlamp
Tripod
Cooler with beer and ice
Camp stove
Extra camp stove
Pots and pans
GPS watch
Ultra speaker system
Car tools
Maps
Dr. Shoal’s deodorizing foot powder
Power Juice
Shades
Bug envelopes
Hypodermic needle for injecting ethyl acetate into moths
Killing bottle
Bug vials
Expresso maker with expresso coffee
Sleeping bag, therma-rest and pillow
Phone
Laptop
Spare tire and select spare parts
Extra coolant
Oil
De-ionized water in case the radiator overheats
Field Guides: birds, trees, moths, herps
And a positive attitude

April 23

Today I thought I might have a broken rib. I wish there was an exciting explanation for this, like I was in a dangerous sky-boarding accident, but there’s not. What with this handicap, we decided we would only hike 8 miles today. The bugs were on the move: like a big momma blister beetle and a pleasing fungus beetle. Hundreds of male swallowtails stocked their groins with amino acids from the plentiful horse shit. Soon they would give this nutriment to females as part of their load, to provide for the young'ns.


At one point, Steve started going off, not an unusual event but he was particularly startled this time:
“LOOK TIM”
I stopped and excitedly scanned my immediate environs to see what awesome arthropod stirred Steve’s particular excitement (Stevometer = 6). To my disappointment, the source was not a six-legged jewel but a bear 10 m up the trail. For just a few seconds, we enjoyed the bear as it foraged in plain view. Then, he released “the beast” (EOS 7D 77mm EF lens) and all hell broke loose.
“Hey Steve, take a picture of me with the bear.
- Not now I gotta get this!”
Stevometer = 7

We hung out with our friendly companion for some time as it munched on leaves, then let it be. Then we reached the waterfall, where I plunged into a pool that would render even the hardiest mountain man’s nipples hard as granite.





On the descent, we discovered a fortress of salamanders. Stationed upon parapets of moss-topped rock, they were untouchable as they grabbed any insect that crawled out of the water.




Stuck behind a big ol' chuckwagon.



Steve had his mind set on viewing the sunset at Clingman’s Dome, a 6500 foot mountaintop vista. I pitched tent in the parking lot. I eagerly awoke from my alarm at 630, only to behold a scene similar to the bathroom after my sister just wrapped up a shower: a dense fog concealing all view.


But our ascent had not been in vain. Thanks to Steve’s good instinct, we spotted a wet cliff with a seepage in a small ditch, which we besieged. It was a moated fortress where moist dragons dwelled, gobbling helpless invertebrates in their mossy, well-oxygenated walls. We raged 4 blue ridge spring salamanders, the most badass amphibian I’ve ever beheld. Look at this Grampappy spring salamander with his nasal cirri!!

Whilst this great life moment unfolded, Steve entered rage mode. He hastily gathered up his camera setup for several minutes as I guarded the salamander and contemplated the meaning of life. At last I was about to abandon my post, lest it die of old age, when he arrived armed and ready. He began his amphibious assault: flash, lens and filter. But something was wrong: the flash was broken. What was possibly the trip highlight one moment has suddenly become a moment of despair and misery. The rage was building.
Stevometer = 9
Thank the heavens, the flash worked again and Steve was able to save the day with some nice shots. Otherwise, things could have gone sour.

April 24-25

What new wonders will today bring? In the heart of hillbilly country, amusement is never far.

Here, local villagers have erected a river wall with recycled automobiles.



We encountered some fellow hobbyists enjoying natures gifts.



This mountain town was a hub of native-american culture


There's Injuns in thar hills!

Some views that make Algonquin look like the prairies:





Now the rawt back just wouldn't be the same without a stop at The Dog Patch for some nanner puddin'. I swear I managed to keep it in the whole time, but when a large southern gentleman beside me asked the server for some "sour kraut n' weiners", I LOST IT COMPLETELY.

Bellow: nanner puddin' (Stevometer=4)


Until next time Steve!

The quest of a Naturalist

It is the dawning of a new era.

An era of responsibility, of being NHE Leader at Grundy Lake Provincial Park, more specifically. But you may be asking yourself: “Tim, what has suddenly compelled you to become responsible?”
Perhaps it was my inner man struggling to awaken. Perhaps it was a woman. Regardless of the origins of this strange new state of mind, I shall be responsible for delivering programs of the highest calibre. Yes, with 4 younglings under my command, our small 50 square meter visitors’ centre shall become a temple of learning, where the teachings of bear safety shall be spread through the land.
“But Tim, you ask, you cannot take padawan learners if you are a mere Jedi Knight. Never before has the council allowed one to take on an apprentice before reaching the rank of Jedi Master.” I say Obi-wan did it (well, it didn’t turn out so great, what with Anakin turning to the dark side, but everything turned ok in the end - didn’t it? (see Return of the Jedi). And yes, many berries shall be picked, many paddles dunked into cool clear waters, odonates captured, viewed and photographed, interpretive moments had, backyard owls hooted at, wolves howled at, salamanders uncovered, facts learned, insects pinned, friends made, pine sawyers from concerned public received and released, feeble attempts at getting fit had, nets swung, rocks jumped off of, displays enhanced, [non-alcoholic] beer drank, and good memories gained.

Algonquin may no longer need me but with my fellow Jedis we shall create a new and more powerful park with even better naturalists.